How to serve?

I am working with Teacher which means I enjoy daily practices that engage the spirit, body, mind and emotions.  Yesterday's question was can I open myself up to be the fullest expression of service to others possible?  Today's practice brought the answer yes and some other interesting items which I choose to hold for now- still forming and perking!  And a message to pay it forward- so how has this served you?  This is what I wish to share today.

So I asked for help this time because I could see I was lost- for me it showed up as a lack of consistency.  There were days where I felt expanded and blissed out and then there were days where I felt small and afraid- this looked like I would see some things show in my life that I desired, but that wouldn’t be consistent either- stop start, stop start.   There was no middle ground- life wasn’t flowing.  And I have been doing spiritual, psychological, consciousness work for many years….

What did I receive? 

So many things… I recovered my little girl who hasn’t trusted me in so many years- she is with me now and she is the part of me who sees the magic in life- who loves to play- and now she is not needing anything from me- she knows she is loved.  I claimed Helen, my mother and Bob, my father- owning all parts of me in them, loving and accepting all those parts.  I reconnected with Grandmother- who walks now with me- glowing with unconditional love.  I remembered my connection to all the elements- fire, wind, water, and earth- that I am they and the .wholeness of that- destruction and creation- all of me that I love. 

I am aware that right now I do not know what is possible of this body or this Being.  I have reconnected with my body so that I can feel shifts and stuckness in it and use the body as a place to work on for information- the body talks.

On the same note, I have remembered how important breathing is- brings me right back to center- the middle ground- deliberate breathing.

I have seen so many places and I continue to see where I have looked outside of myself for value, for confirmation, for something I felt I couldn’t do or create myself- I no longer choose to do that and I see right away if I am and love it into me.

I have remembered what it means to create and to own all the creations and I now see what happens when I do not own the creations- I get small again.

I remember I am Power and that my home is the third chakra- power with love because of course it is no longer about force.

I now can feel that I am alone in this journey and be peaceful about that; I now see that I am fully supported in this journey to see the highest Self; I see that even though I am alone, I am part of a much bigger picture and vibration and that what I do, say, Be counts and creates ripples and I don’t need to know what those are anymore.

I am more in Trust than ever before and that grows each day.

And how does that matter in day-to-day life?  Now, I can feel an emotion coming up and instead of pushing it away (saying oh I shouldn’t feel that- I am on a spiritual path) or falling into it (oh I am sad or blissed and that’s it)- I turn into the emotion and with love and acceptance, ask it what it would like to tell me and thank it for whatever it would like to tell me- it is always linked to a belief- which I can turn into too and ask it how it has served me (believe it or not all of our beliefs served us at one time) and thank it and love it and honor it- the power of these emotions and beliefs are soon gone and what happens is I just am present and experiencing.  And imagine what it would be like to not react and act from these emotions and beliefs?  New choices, new ways of being, new opportunities just magically show up- because I am no longer caught in the old pattern.  
 I got to see by living where I am how I project onto others- see that, love that in me and create authentic apology and then let it go- this makes me more aware of projections.


I am in the middle ground these days and when I am not, I recognize and return with one of the many tools I have learned and remembered.
Life feels easier, I feel easier.  I am surrounded by others who stand in their own power- owning their creations, desiring to create in harmony, doing their work- so there is no drama.  I am dreaming again- meaning being able to see that whatever I want to experience is possible and because there is more room in this body and Being- I am hearing, seeing, feeling new possibilities.  I am healthier than I have been in years and stronger in my body.  I look forward to each day to see what is in store for me.  I see what is and accept and love it.
I have had moments of this throughout my life and now the moments are running together.
More to come..
Love,
Lynn