I Can Relax Now

Another incredible week in paradise- Mexcio where the sun always shines, the lake looks like an ocean and the mountains rise up along the vistas....
I am having a challenge tracking when and what all is occurring at this point, but I awoke this morning with a deep,cellular knowing that I can and am taking care of mySelf.  This is not just in providing food and shelter and keeping my body healthy- this is about the Being and Living with others and knowing that I can take care of mySelf- that I can take time alone, that I can schedule playtime without any attachment to who shows up, that I can be in support of someone and not take on their stuff.
There is this feeling that has come over me beginning yesterday and continuing today that all I have ever dreamed of or worked towards is about to come true- this is not a fairy tale and it is also not life as I have known it.
I have desired to create heaven on earth, I have desired to have playmates to play with in the garden of Eden, I have desired to be of true service to the One- meaning to allow my mind to get out of the way and trust that my body and Being will know the right words to say, the right action to take, the right gift to give.
And so over the last few years, I have let go of everything- the house I lived in, the jobs , the friends, family, money, car, any sense of thinking I know what is happening, beliefs, stories, patterns.  I stand here listening- hearing words or vibrations
 from inside, all around; receiving gifts of words or touch from another- trusting that the next step will reveal itself.  I stand here quietly- paying attention and letting go of planning for the most part- having a sense of the essence of something and then when I see it, or touch it , or hear it, or feel it- walk forward.
I no longer multi-task- in fact I may "do" only one thing a day- no pattern just whatever is up.
I am beginning to feel deep within what my gifts are and have begun to share me hugely and wildly.
I am experiencing life as I have never known it- I have read about this place- where everything is pulsed as a gift.
Yesterday I had a conversation with two friends- one with whom I am creating something to share with the world and the other who I know from my past and I trusted the intuitive hit to reconnect with her- so aligned, fitting perfectly together what we are all doing and Being- creating sustainable living situations with like hearted souls and using technology to reach more people with our gifts.  I got off that call and cried and could feel the "being on the other side" of the full letting go and that I am taken care of in such a profound way.  There is nothing to fear- I can't even make a "wrong" choice now!
So I am creating the feel of my Heaven on Earth- the essence of freedom, flow, beauty, joy, safety, peace, richness....  Heaven on earth always had other people around, always had land we supported and that supported us- the group I am hanging with has created a house sit opportunity beginning in May-June-July- not being attached to form helps because we don't own it, we have two different houses in May that are in the same neighborhood- and we are flowing the essence of what takes care of all of us.
And because we create such a strong field, we are beginning to flow a service of having people come and stay with us- that too is effortlessly beginning in June.   Service to the One and people are appearing.
I am enjoying the space of I can relax now -opening all doors and windows to more, please.
And today, just so you know I called a woman who I had agreed to house-sit in May to tell her I could not do it- the house is in the city and I realize that my being doesn't do so well in the city with the energy vibe there.  One of the patterns I have held long to is once I make a committment, honoring it at all costs- I am taking care of mySelf. 
And there is another conversation scheduled for later that is about an experience of seeing another out of integrity and how it affected me.... pulsing all as gifts.....
I can Relax now
Love,
Lynn

The New

Haven't posted in awhile and believe me it is not because there hasn't been anything happening- have begun to write a few times and it never felt right.  Today I am getting messages it is time.
I sit at the window of the office in the house where I am house-sitting- looking out at the pool, the garden, the hummingbirds, the sun shining and I am in appreciation for where I have landed and how I am Being.
I am Being in community here in Mexico- what I mean by that is first I am Being whole and complete of mySelf- creating each day and sometimes more than once a day the core feeling of who I am and then taking action or not from that.  I am enjoying time spent with others, but for the first time in my life I am taking care of mySelf.  That is not to say it is without fear or shakiness at times- I have that and I have also created in the outer some amazing Beings with whom I can be my authentic self.
Lots of words right- how does that look in life?  That is what I have always asked anyone who shares something that feels significant.
 That looks like me getting clear that I am about Life.  The people whose house I am staying in just lost their daughter and are headed back next week.  One of the ways I have always been is strong in the face of death- clients, family- over and over and over- I am the one people looked to- I am no longer the one people can look to- we all have to look inside and find our strength- our core.  I decided early on I did not want to be here when they returned- I have done them a great service by being here and lovingly caring for their animals and home and I suspect it will serve them to have their space back as well.
So I opened up to conversations about other house sits- not relying on any of the other members of the four that I hang out with and feeling their support at the same time.  I begin another gig at a lovely house next week.  It is in alignment with the highest good - including having some time to my self.
Getting back to I am about Life- I had gone to a meeting two weeks ago on Conscious Death- a group here that is beginning a grass roots campaign for death with dignity and choice.  Right up my alley (at least in the past) and I could feel the creative juices running- ready to dive right in.  I listened this week to the man who heads the group talk again and it just hit me- I am about Life- what am I doing?  I am doing the safe thing- the thing that is right here- that I don't have to wait for- the thing I have always done.  So I called him this week and blessed the work and said I wasn't going to lend any physical support.
So let's get back to those amazing Beings that are here with me- there are four of us and when we get together it can be magical- worlds can shift just by sitting in quiet.  And today I remembered words that I know that were echoed a few times this week- boundaries.  When we are in community one of the challenges is to keep our individuality.  It is easy to get caught up in the energy of the four of us Being together and it is imporatant to maintain clarity for myself.  We are meeting to see what it is that can be created in service and we each come different spaces and different desires- it will be fun to see what gets created with each of us standing strong.  We have sounded and drummed together in lovely resonance and we have prepared meals and eaten together in natural flow without any words; we have eaten out and had fun and invited others in to join us. This is a gift and it will only remain so if I stay in my center.  Remembering.....
I am looking in a whole and complete way at what else is in my life and does it flow and how it feels.  Belonging to an Integrity circle which meets online twice a month was something I created before I left the states- knowing the growth that can happen for me and others in group space; but I relaized this week it wasn't fully serving me and so I initiated a conversation about that.  The group meets online and we share and then it falls off in between- I want it all.  I no longer create just conversation- I desire authenticity and connection as much as is possible.
 Yesterday I was asked to see if there was anything that was keeping me from experiencing everything around richness that I desired- this was asked by a mentor/teacher and I found myself in my mind swirling- where I haven't felt in a while. The only answers were from my mind- I have to take baby steps.... Then we watched the movie What Dreams May Come and that magnified for me the mind.  For the first time I feel in a different space- I do see that I am not experiencing everything around richness that is desired because I do not at this moment have lots of cash flowing in- and I am experiencing richness in all the many other ways I desire.  I feel like I can ask as I did today- How can I experience even more richness today?  Which opens up possibilities- because if I rely on my mind- well it can't possibly know- it only knows what has been experienced in the past and the worry about the future.  I am open to receive cash for my service, cash as a surprise and I am taking steps when aligned towards this.  So I am comfortable in this space and owning it rather than trying to figure it out- owning it to my mentor/teacher and owning it me-  I am loving myself and in gratitude for this new space...
During morning practice I heard to slow down, to trust and to reconnect to center- I take that into this day!
With love,
Lynn

The Shift

Good morning from sunny Mexico!!!  I awake this morning after a dream of saying a final, loving goodbye to the person in my life that represents the Hero; in life, he saw me before I saw myself and encouraged me and loved me and always was the voice of reason asking the "hard" questions.  I receive the message that it is time to become my own Hero.  I also get that I don't know the how of that so I ask for help from my Higher Self to keep showing me!
There is something that is coming together for me this morning as I read a post by Carolyn Myss about the recent earthquake in Japan- she speaks of the simple truth that we are connected to the earth and all life.  Yesterday the woman I am sharing a place with and I had a conversation about life- I am experiencing a connection to all life- no matter what age or whether life has two legs or four legs or any legs- maybe life has roots or wings.  I asked the question- is any life better or more important than another and can I be with all life in simple acceptance- that seems to be what is up for me as I navigate through a country and a culture that is unfamiliar.  Carolyn said that life is out of balance and that is what is happening on the earth right now- I can see that in my own life- the out of balance- going from unconscious consumer of all resources to conscious and choosing lack consumer of resources; going from looking for the answers outside of myself to finding them within; going from passive surrender to active surrender; - I am finding my balance as well.  The balance for me is to create richness all my experiences.
Part of the balance is saying no to my mind- which has run the show for oh so long.  Last night after an expansive weekend- my mind began to chatter- oh nothing has changed, you are still the same person......
So I chose to sit down and meditate and write about what has happened since I came here a week and a half ago- the world has shifted!  The earth shifted and so did I - no surprise there if I step past what the forgetting mind was trying to tell me and allowed the truth to come up.
-  I experience no past and the gift of staying present more and more
-  I had money stolen and received the gift of looking deeply into all the stories about money that I was living with
-  I have reclaimed creativity in the kitchen
-  I am living with a woman with whom I share authentically the quiet and the conversation
-  I co-created two times of Being with three other people where a different field was created and I stepped into that- one of the awareness I had was that I still carried the "holding" of the planet and again I do not know how to be with that so I ask my Higher Self for assistance
-  I created unexpected money coming in and a possible flow in service
-  I experienced a group call that opens up worlds in possibilities
-  I created the experience of a sweat lodge
-  I experienced a drumming group on the boardwalk during full moon that met all my creations- outdoors, children, older people, dancing, voice....

I acknowledge the shifting and balancing that I am doing and Being along with the Great Mother....  And I acknowledge thatn the shifts do not have show themselves on the outer to be real!!!
Love,
Lynn

Road Trip and Then Some....

I began this blog the night of March 8^th after a day filled with adventure and learning and releasing and relaxing into this new way- in a world where I am the minority, where I am not aware of the customs, where I am totally off-center.  And where the only place to call home is right here in the center of this Being.

Today we crossed into Mexico- over the border.  How interesting that there is a concrete border between these two countries and one has to pay to visit- on the other side, you are not allowed to visit at all.  As we drive through the Sierra Madre Mountains and I beginning to feel my molecules all coming back to rest- hearing the mountains greet me and welcome me- I wonder about us humans that erect boundaries like what I saw.  The other thing I witnessed that kept showing me that I am not peaceful with the what is- is the Military- at the border in large quantities- pulling over a car and dumping everything out of the car- I watch as the young man stood there with a rifle that looked plastic.  We were stopped soon out of the town of Nuevo Laredo and another man came to the car to look at our visas and passports he also went through our stuff- found some soap I brought and I gave it to him.  So many military – all over the place and I am not peaceful about it- I feel the energy of fear; I feel the energy of control.  And I wonder what is it that I have created- obviously I am not peaceful- because there are still man-made borders and there are still military pulling people over searching cars and holding guns- I choose to take this into meditation and practice tonight- see if there is something else I can release in me- something else I can love in me- because this is not the world I am creating.

I am creating the world I am feeling now- peace, freedom, birds singing, jammies on, sun shining, allowing forth all the abundance required to support me- stewarding a service to the planet- accepting that there is nothing to do- but just show up.

I did not take the lack of peace into meditation with me last night because I fell asleep and that feels like what the body needed- what I know from how I woke up is that I was doing the work at night and all will be revealed in short time- so I release any need to force it.

Here I sit in gratitude in a little town called Matehuala- having just had a beer and a steak dinner sitting in an outdoor café being able to see the mountains- feeling Mother!

It is around 5:00 and I have my jammies on- there is no internet service and I have made a strong choice to continue my daily practice everyday and write what’s up for me in the blog

The morning of the ninth, I am up early and allow myself the gift of doing my practice- recalling the mind in a kind, loving way- recalling my body- recalling all the dimensions of Lynn- and I am home in I am power in love- joining the third and fourth chakra.

Choosing to allow the day to enfold in being led by the part of me called the natural world-that allow me to stay in all my creations on this day.  Sitting again outside with the mountain in view, sipping coffee, breathing, breathing, and breathing….  Choosing to allow the blog to enfold over the next day- can’t do anything about the posting because the Internet in this hotel is not working.

After leaving Matehuala, we travelled this day to Ajijic- our destination.  On this day, there were no policia and the countryside was spectacular.  It is the dry season down here and there was a lot of brown and it is dry- the cactus were as big as trees and the Sierra Madre mountains were with us on the drive the whole time- such strength and softness at the same time in these mountains- I could feel Mother.

The closer we got to Ajijic, the wetter is was and the lusher it was- as we came around the last corner- there was the lake- oh man what a sight – large crystal lake with diamonds shining off of it.

The town itself is sweet and there is a lot of tourism- there is a Domino’s pizza…Wal-Mart and apparently now a Subway.  And the mountains surround it and the lake borders it.  It feels like it is held in an embrace.

We arrive to this beautiful space and are welcomed by the man of the house- shown the house- choice of three places to stay- Nancy picked the Ambassador suite and I picked the upstairs bedroom with it’s own patio- each has it’s own bathroom.  The house is open ceiling with a pool in the middle and I have already seen a hummingbird in the gardens.

I have been feeling dog and guess what there are two here.

The owners of the house have a daughter who is in the hospital in the states dealing with brain tumor- while we are there I get an opportunity to have a heart-filled conversation with the man of the house about what is up for him- and we know he will need to go back to the states to be with his wife and daughter- while sitting with him, he says thank you for hearing the call and I realize again the magic of surrender.  And the power of the whole when the one steps into a big creation.

.

Right now as I listen to the church bells ring, I thank myself for letting go and having the courage to take the next step and am grateful for living fully in my creations.

And so I have internet as of the morning of the tenth- will just add and make this a large blog- it is perfect I am sure- the message is strong.

Waking today with a hummingbird outside my window and the sun shining directly on the bed- I experience one of the deepest meditations I have had in a while- mountains seen from the window- feeling Mother and creation- feeling the holding of Grandmother.  Today with no agenda I experienced the lake twice- one walk with Nancy and another taking the dogs and laughing while the one dog ran into the lake; I swim in the pool; we go to the grocery and create a marvelous meal of salmon and veggies; we have lunch at this fun place called the Garden where peacocks roam free.  And I am experiencing instantly- at lunch we asked for green sauce for the enchiladas and I also wanted red, but didn’t say anything- we got red too.  There is a sweet looking shrine up the mountain and today I said I want to climb and tonight at dinner the man of the house  (leaving tomorrow to join his wife and daughter)- said that is one of the places he takes the dogs and he will show me tomorrow before he leaves- now I have some Being to walk with.

I keep feeling this sense of never having had a life before this- I have no history- and that feels like a powerful place to create.  I create richness in life- community, service, love, partnership, food, fun, children, animals, friends- more to come.

 I am happy to be reconnected to people in my life who have shared this journey with me- who have been doing their own work while I have been doing mine- I can’t wait to see what happens next.  Last night I got to see again in the flesh Susan and Olivier- thank you dear ones.  I have taken this part of the journey with a woman named Nancy- we never met until Monday and can you say synch….  Lovely dancing with you while shopping, while cooking dinner, while listening to what needs to be done here and just knowing who will do what and what we will do together, for navigating and creating a safe fun trip across the border.  And for Teacher who still reflects Me.

I'm off...

This will be a quick one- I'm off - well we know that... but I have left physically.  Sitting in a lovely hotel room in Laredo Texas with my new friend....
A little off center at the LaCrosse airport- baggage costs alot- $60 as opposed to what I thought was $50 and then they wanted to charge another $90 because my one bag weighed over 50 pounds; personally I thought it was amazing that I got my whole life into two suitcase and a carry on- Delta didn't agree.  So because I believe in traveling light and I also want to watch where the money goes- after a moment of shakiness, I chose strongly to open the overweight suitcase and take out two pairs of shoes, a sweatshirt, my jean jacket, a beach towel and left them at the airport- also left my winter coat because right now I don't need it and I wasn't going to carry all of that.  The lady behind the counter was surprised and allowed me the bag through over 50- I think just to get rid of me.
OK- onto the plane- effortless flight, effortless transfer in Minneapolis with no wait time.  Big plane going to Austin so I got all three seats to myself and as we were coming into Austin- the cloud beings waved and shouted welcome to me.
Now that I am sitting and writing I guess the price of the bags was worth it, because they were the first two out of the claim area- I walked outside and without a cell phone, my friend Nancy pulled up and we took off- again- effortless.
Besides some engaging conversation, the other excitement for the night was dinner- Texas BBQ and some of the best creamed corn I have ever tasted....
We are off early in the am so i will sign off now-more to come...
Love,
Lynn

Incredible!!!!!

Here it is the last full day before I leave to enter the next step of what I know is my soul's journey and what a day!  Earlier in the week, I had this knowing show up that something big would happen as far as my experiencing my creations right before I left- my mind said I would meet my soul mate- what's funny is that on a certain level that is true, but not the way I thought!
Today I met with the one I have created as Teacher - one of the desires I have in life is to allow who I am to shine through- that means to me to do the work that clears me of old patterns, beliefs, relationships that don't serve this purpose.  Earlier in the week during one of our sessions, he called bull.... to my ego- something that was jarring enough for me so that I have been able to carry that forward for myself.  So the first conversation we had was to complete the work we have done- which was to reclaim parts of me that I had left behind and to see where I was stuck in emotions, thoughts, actions that kept me doing the same thing over and over again.  The offer on the table is that we could continue the work but that it would be more like our conversation earlier in the week and that I as of yet had not invited that in- this felt right on target if I want to keep evolving.  The whole vibration was one of feeling union and that is one of the creations I truly desire to experience.  So I am inviting it in.
Then we moved on to a conversation of money- he had offered money towards this new creation of mine- the going to a new physical location; he had been doing his work all week of how to best serve me and also the why of the offer of money and what he had uncovered is that the offer was part of a karmic relationship of taking care of me.  As he was sharing, I could feel the truth in this and even though my ego -mind was screaming oh no- not enough money- I strongly chose not to accept the money (he was willing to honor his offer).  I can't really put words to this, but as we were speaking I could feel a huge shift in me- a lightness came over me- an ahhh... this is why I was here!  This theme has been up for weeks- that besides my own work- there was some karmic thing that had to be cleared!
And even though I am leaving with less money than desired and the service that I wish to offer is not fully grounded yet- I am now leaving more complete and with less worry than I have had since I made this decision to leave.  I am so grateful!!!  There is so much more of me to create with- to experience with!
Then came the powerful conversation from me about how I would like to work with Teacher in the next period of time- I have always honored teacher with some form of financial contribution or some other form of energy exchange and I have never set that up ahead of time- it just came as it did.  It feels important for me to set a schedule- important for me because I am creating a service to the world and I have always had a tendency to be small about that.  So I will be exploring service and money- growing in I am power in love in this area.

I feel like I did meet my soul mate and he/she is typing this blog.

What a day!!!  And way to wait until the 11th hour- always like a little excitement!  Mind you no chaos- just a little excitement!!!
Love,
Lynn

Traveling "Light"

Well now it is down to one day before I depart for Mexico... this morning I completed packing the big bag I am taking and put it in the trunk of the car- only because we got trapped in last night due to the mud and the big ruts on the road- so if we were able to move the car this morning after the freeze overnight, I wanted that big bag in there so I wouldn't have to lug it up the 1/2 mile hill!  So I came here with a Corolla full and I am leaving here with one large and one small suitcase- which better suits what it looks like may happen for me traveling around for awhile with no real settling down.  Going and getting immersed in the community that is next and then going on to the next.
Traveling "light"- not only on the outer, but I am carrying less baggage on the inner- letting go, letting go- reclaiming, remembering, integrating.  I have my life for the first time... ever!
This week's theme seems to be remembering that I am here to steward everything- nothing is mine!  Letting go of the need to own a house; the money  isn't mine- it is here to care for me and just flow through; the tools I require to live abundantly are not mine- they are there to use and share sometimes and let go of; whatever service I provide to the planet at this time is something that comes through me, not from me; even relationships are not mine- but to dive into, learn from, have fun with and sometimes let go of.  Traveling "light".
These last few days have been so sweet and so full- today I served a family by being with the children all day.  I got to experience a 9 year old having fun with energy and movement through him when he injured himself and agreed to an exercise I use on myself- I witnessed his feeling of the shift in his body.  It was such fun!!!  Nothing from me but the offer and the witness- no sloggy holding space or shifting energy for someone.  Traveling "light" does not mean traveling small!  What a gift for me and what a gift for him...

I also wanted to share another blog from a woman I respect who speaks about traveling right now:

Surfing the Tsunami

Lucia Rene

For many people, things feel really churned up right now.  A surprising number of people report that someone in their family is dying and the issue of death always causes a lot of haywire emotions to surface.  Some are feeling that they are on a processing roller coaster.  Others, however, are reporting ecstasy and exhilaration.  Where on the spectrum are you?

Mother Divine’s tsunami of change, which has been building for a while, has definitely crested.  No question about that.  Things are churned up.  Things are accelerating.  Life has become increasingly challenging.  And we are only just beginning this year of accelerated change!  It isn't just you or changes in your area of the world.  This is global. Things are churned up everywhere!
If your boat feels like it’s in danger of capsizing, perhaps you need to put on your inspector’s cap and give it a good once over.  (1) Are there too many people on board?  (2) Are you carrying excess baggage?  (3) Are you assuming the chatter on your shortwave radio is your own?
Here are some recommendations for your consideration:
(1)  Make a list of all the people in your life and, in a detached way, scrutinize the energy of each.  Is the person adding to your life?  Detracting?  Are you, because you have a tie to them, psychically picking up their inner turmoil?  If someone isn’t on the same wavelength, perhaps it’s time to part company.
To be perfectly honest, it’s a problem if anyone is in your boat (i.e. awareness field) right now.  Everyone should have her/his own boat.  We are all responsible for ourselves.  We need to be free to make our own choices, change direction, steer clear of obstacles.  Other people in your boat make it heavy and hard to maneuver.
(2)  Scrutinize your baggage.  Your baggage—emotional, mental, or psychic—may be what’s making your boat unstable.  Are you still trying to control things?  Are you hanging on to an old belief system that doesn’t serve you anymore?  Are you feeling resistant to look at a process that’s up in your face?
More often than not, the problem confronting you—what your mind perceives as the problem—is not the immediate problem.  The real problem is your resistance to dealing with the problem.  Once you overcome your resistance, you can begin to move down through the layers of emotions that compose your problem, one by one, until you reach the fear that underlies them.  And once you merge with the fear, it dissolves into the pure light of consciousness.Emotions are just vibrations within the emotional body.  None of them can harm you.  But the mind says, “This problem is so cataclysmic that you’ll die if you go into it”.  And we believe the mind.  We resist diving into the process.
My method is to acknowledge and meet the resistance, to tell it, “This resistance is welcome here”.  If resistance is what is up in your face, welcome the resistance, then begin to welcome the layers of the process as they reveal themselves.  Anything that is really seen, acknowledged, and honored comes to rest quite easily.

Buddha said: Life is suffering and suffering is caused by attachment.  So, if you’re suffering, investigate and work through your attachments to people.  Meet and honor your attachments to your baggage.
Only you can do your processing work.  Someone can teach, advise, and/or support you.  But you have to do the work.  It is messy down there in the depths of the emotional swamp.  I know.  I’ve been there countless times.  Not savory.  But, once you decide to plunge in, it’s very, very doable.
Come on.  Confess.  You love the feeling of freedom that comes when you drop a piece of excess baggage or a person who is draining your energy.  So, buck up; inspect your boat; lighten it up.
Or, better yet, trade it in for a surfboard!  Just you, your bathing suit, and the Divine Mother’s tsunami of change.  Too little security in a surfboard?  Better get used to it.  We’ll be swimming like dolphins before it’s all over!
You’re perfectly capable of surfing the tsunami, you know.  You wouldn’t have chosen to be here at the end of a cycle of time if you weren’t geared for high-speed change.
http://www.unplugfromthepatriarchy.com