The New

Haven't posted in awhile and believe me it is not because there hasn't been anything happening- have begun to write a few times and it never felt right.  Today I am getting messages it is time.
I sit at the window of the office in the house where I am house-sitting- looking out at the pool, the garden, the hummingbirds, the sun shining and I am in appreciation for where I have landed and how I am Being.
I am Being in community here in Mexico- what I mean by that is first I am Being whole and complete of mySelf- creating each day and sometimes more than once a day the core feeling of who I am and then taking action or not from that.  I am enjoying time spent with others, but for the first time in my life I am taking care of mySelf.  That is not to say it is without fear or shakiness at times- I have that and I have also created in the outer some amazing Beings with whom I can be my authentic self.
Lots of words right- how does that look in life?  That is what I have always asked anyone who shares something that feels significant.
 That looks like me getting clear that I am about Life.  The people whose house I am staying in just lost their daughter and are headed back next week.  One of the ways I have always been is strong in the face of death- clients, family- over and over and over- I am the one people looked to- I am no longer the one people can look to- we all have to look inside and find our strength- our core.  I decided early on I did not want to be here when they returned- I have done them a great service by being here and lovingly caring for their animals and home and I suspect it will serve them to have their space back as well.
So I opened up to conversations about other house sits- not relying on any of the other members of the four that I hang out with and feeling their support at the same time.  I begin another gig at a lovely house next week.  It is in alignment with the highest good - including having some time to my self.
Getting back to I am about Life- I had gone to a meeting two weeks ago on Conscious Death- a group here that is beginning a grass roots campaign for death with dignity and choice.  Right up my alley (at least in the past) and I could feel the creative juices running- ready to dive right in.  I listened this week to the man who heads the group talk again and it just hit me- I am about Life- what am I doing?  I am doing the safe thing- the thing that is right here- that I don't have to wait for- the thing I have always done.  So I called him this week and blessed the work and said I wasn't going to lend any physical support.
So let's get back to those amazing Beings that are here with me- there are four of us and when we get together it can be magical- worlds can shift just by sitting in quiet.  And today I remembered words that I know that were echoed a few times this week- boundaries.  When we are in community one of the challenges is to keep our individuality.  It is easy to get caught up in the energy of the four of us Being together and it is imporatant to maintain clarity for myself.  We are meeting to see what it is that can be created in service and we each come different spaces and different desires- it will be fun to see what gets created with each of us standing strong.  We have sounded and drummed together in lovely resonance and we have prepared meals and eaten together in natural flow without any words; we have eaten out and had fun and invited others in to join us. This is a gift and it will only remain so if I stay in my center.  Remembering.....
I am looking in a whole and complete way at what else is in my life and does it flow and how it feels.  Belonging to an Integrity circle which meets online twice a month was something I created before I left the states- knowing the growth that can happen for me and others in group space; but I relaized this week it wasn't fully serving me and so I initiated a conversation about that.  The group meets online and we share and then it falls off in between- I want it all.  I no longer create just conversation- I desire authenticity and connection as much as is possible.
 Yesterday I was asked to see if there was anything that was keeping me from experiencing everything around richness that I desired- this was asked by a mentor/teacher and I found myself in my mind swirling- where I haven't felt in a while. The only answers were from my mind- I have to take baby steps.... Then we watched the movie What Dreams May Come and that magnified for me the mind.  For the first time I feel in a different space- I do see that I am not experiencing everything around richness that is desired because I do not at this moment have lots of cash flowing in- and I am experiencing richness in all the many other ways I desire.  I feel like I can ask as I did today- How can I experience even more richness today?  Which opens up possibilities- because if I rely on my mind- well it can't possibly know- it only knows what has been experienced in the past and the worry about the future.  I am open to receive cash for my service, cash as a surprise and I am taking steps when aligned towards this.  So I am comfortable in this space and owning it rather than trying to figure it out- owning it to my mentor/teacher and owning it me-  I am loving myself and in gratitude for this new space...
During morning practice I heard to slow down, to trust and to reconnect to center- I take that into this day!
With love,
Lynn