What Does It Mean to Be Free?

OMG- it has been quite the 5 months for this one- having not written except in a journal for my own use over this time; having gotten a job in December and now as of a week ago resigned; having lived with a friend of mine on the couch for most of this time- except when I created housesitting gigs; having entered into the world again- after so many months on the road and staying pretty close to whatever home I was in and with whom that home was made....

Returning full circle and humbly bowing to another level of healing most of which I can only feel at this point! I was explaining to a friend the other day that my way of experiencing and learning is to  embody the vision, the meditation and then walk it out in this reality!  So with the strong message to be around as many people as possible- in a job 5 days a week- going to the grocery- riding the bus- trying on new experiences- I got to fully engage my anger, my judgment, my spiritual snobbery, my fear, my stories of I am not enough at yet another level of mastery and healing!  There really is too much to write and some of which the particulars I have already let go of!

Let it be said that when I looked in the mirror a month ago, I saw a woman who had aged and was once again hunched over protecting her heart!  I know this woman- she is me!  And I have seen glimpses of  another woman and that is the woman I want to see again- the woman who skips down the street, smiles all the time and goes to the grocery in her jammies!

So as always, a teacher showed up and I said Yes!  This is the first time I said yes without expecting the teacher to tell me what to do, to save me, to take care of me- now that is progress!!!!  And two weeks ago, another level of "I want someone to take care of me", came up to say hello and ask for love!

This teacher is a coach to create an offer from my soul purpose- something my soul has been crying out for years!  So grateful to me for saying yes.... grateful to Alaya Gold for showing up in her purpose!

And yes I am creating an offer- beginning with an event here in Cincinnati before I leave town (new beginnings all around- as I am traveling by train to Pennsylvania to house sit for friends from June to September)- the Naughty and Nice Goddess Feast!  And also an offer to meet some personal clients!

What I really wanted to get down on paper this day is the answers I have so far to a question I got curious about when I read Lauren Gorgo's most recent post-  "What does it mean to be free- to live limitless?"

I began the inquiry during a shamanic heart mediation and saw a chance to be even more free by breathing into the back of my heart and then the whole body and into every cell.

That same morning I read this prayer Alaya gave me- "I am enough" and felt the line-"the projects with which I am involved wow my soul"- I cry- freedom here in the moment seeing what I always put my energy into- something to fix, to change- freedom came then as I felt the potency in me just Being- trusting I will say or do whatever is perfect- knowing that nothing or no one is wrong- seeing the perfection in me and all!

Freedom is the awareness that I will continue to expand, learn, love accept, create and receive.

Freedom is the opening to feeling what creates fun, adventure and joy and choosing that!

Freedom is accepting and receiving a love of cash- I love cash and cash loves me!

Freedom is the re-creation of an aligned spine so that I can fully feel the energy of creation pulsing through and around me- having shut that down for so many years- opening up to this energy- enjoying and having fun with it!

Freedoms is taking full responsibility for myself in all aspects of life- physical, spiritual, mental and emotional.

Freedom is feeling my body again.

Freedom is Being me in every moment and allowing that to expand; inviting the veils to be lifted- loving all of me; all is well.

·          Freedom is feeling the and seeing the thoughts that have always been present- I am not enough, I am not worthy and not allowing them to grab hold and stay- no longer creating the same old thing.

·         Freedom is accepting what all I have healed, transmuted- honoring myself and trusting that anything else will come up and I will step into it and allow for that to be transmuted as well.- accepting the work is never done.

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·          Freedom is the continued awareness that I have created everything and what I mean by that is that today 5/22/12 I feel the creation of I am not  enough- the program with which I have run my whole life as something I created- there is a thread here that I am on…. and it is time to create I am enough and expect that it will turn out well!

       

       I Love Us!

       Lynn

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