One of the reminders I received this week from Reverend Angela (one of the few Beings on the planet I am connected with who seems to resonate with where, who, how I am feeling) was to create- that will increase my vibration. And that is really all I know to do in this moment...anything that raises my vibration.
Yesterday I experienced Koren Chiropractic services from Dr, Micah Dunn and I am experiencing more- more tingling in the body, colors and sounds and smells are more potent and my intuition seems to be more engaged. For this I am grateful- I am grateful for the last few days of quiet and alone in this beautiful space I am living and I am feeling gratitude for the return of the family who lives here- I can smile in feeling the love that has grown between us! I am grateful for Tessa the cat who plays with me and lays with me and then goes off and does her own thing! I am grateful for the landing of the Pink Tent here in Pennsylvania- a space of nurturing and love for women! I am grateful for the returning to an inspiration I received called the Flock of Freedom and the desire to have that support me fully! I am grateful for the part-time gigs I have created since I have been here that have sustained me and the desire to now thrive in all that I receive and do!
I am understanding part of my path is to experience uniquely things others do not choose to experience and I am able in this moment to honor and smile in gratitude for that instead of seeing it as a negative or a piece of that lifelong thread of it is not enough! And this feels huge- it is more than enough that I choose in this moment to take care of an elderly woman with Alzheimer's and history of strokes for three nights a week- to experience the anger and fear she directs outward- the absolute hatred of her condition and her body and her inability to let go- I ask myself each night, what would it be like to fully accept that this is me! And each night I feel more and more love for all of it- for her cussing at me, for her hitting me, for her spitting at me, for her smiling at me, for her kissing me.....
There is this dance that I am dancing and it is called- creation.... no I do not wish to have this experience over and over and yet I am so what do I glean from it- how do I embrace it? I am on the cusp of experiencing the fullness of it... I can feel it. I have resigned from the position, effective next Sunday- this past Monday night, she slept all the way through and I was able to see whenever she began to stir, how I was in a charge about how I didn't want her to wake up... seeing that, accepting that and then letting it go to get to it doesn't matter, remembering who I am. This strong, big vibration of love.... It doesn't matter how she shows up, I can show up how I choose... Looking at her, smelling her, being disgusted by her- I have been smelling me, looking at me, disgusted by me even while away from her. I am that I am! I am experiencing that!
And I see the power in my declining in the center of who I am the offer the daughter made yesterday to work extra hours for more money....and when I feel the time is right, I will call her and decline. Money is not what motivates me and it is not something I choose when everything else is out of alignment. So when I feel the full center of this...still feel some doubt and concern...I call!
As I write this, I am grateful for me- for my unique Divine spark and in this acceptance I experience more of what is possible..... I am grateful for this creation of mine and grateful to this woman for showing up so perfectly for me, for all of us!
Love,
Lynn
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